the misadventures of wafflehousel

Note to future lazy self

2010-10-08T14:16:00.004-04:00

Dear lazy me,
Running is awesome. You might not like it right now, or even during the act for that matter, but you feel amazing after. Don't forget that, lazy pants.

So get up, put your shoes on and hit the road.

Signed,
Me who ran today (and it only took 40 minutes to feel awesome)

The living situation - or rather, the case of the lying liar and the passive aggressive slovenian

2010-07-18T03:46:00.006-04:00

The Craigslist ad sounded great -
Quiet and clean room for rent closer to the director. One bedroom with storage and a private shower attached to bedroom. Washer & dryer, separate entrance, kitchenette with mini-fridge, microwave, toaster, A/C, Furnished, DSL (no charge, wired to room), includes all utilities.

I thought, "Wow. Quiet (no Skid Row sirens or Shouty McTrick-Turners all through the night), A/C, closer to the director and producer? And if I can prorate it for the time I'm in town, I can save a few bucks? Sign me up!" So I reply to the ad, give a brief description of myself, the dates I'll be in town, and ask if the place can be prorated.

The woman writes back. P seems very nice and obliges. We agree to meet Sunday, after I pick up the rental car. I arrive at her house. The neighborhood seems ok. Well, it's at least better than Skid Row. I can park my car on the street and not worry about parking fees.

She lets me in. She seems really nice, though she reminds me of this girl Courtney I knew in NY that turned out to be very two-faced. Courtney and this woman are both very slow - the kind of slow that comes with doing too many mind-altering drugs. They both have long strawberry blondish hair and annoying voices. I like P's 4 her cats. They make me miss mine even more. They also make her place smell like cat pee. (If my place ever smells like cat pee, for the love of GODS please tell me. I will be thankful!)

She takes me downstairs to show me the room. I meet M, the Slovenian roommate who will be staying in the room next to me. He seems ok. The room has a bed, and there is a private shower, a mini fridge and a microwave. She shows me how to turn on the A/C. I tell her I'll take it. We decide on $25 a night for the time I'm here ($400 total.) She asks me to pay her upfront. This makes me nervous. This woman could take my money and lock me out. I ask if PayPal is OK. I like the idea of a paper trail. She says yes. I feel better. I move my stuff in and go grocery shopping.

That night, I'm eating dinner outside in the garden. It's nice there. M is outside. I told him I feel safer in this neighborhood than on Skid Row. He mocks me and tells me there are gangs everywhere. I ask what gangs. He says mostly Latin. He tells me bad things happen to people who feel safe. I realize he is a jerk and stop talking to him.

That night it's stifling, so I turn the A/C on. Apparently LA is enduring a heat wave with higher than usual temperatures reaching the upper 90's. I sleep ok except that there are roosters (yes, more than one) and chickens in the neighbors back yard. There are also dogs. And when the dogs bark, the roosters coo or howl or whatever it is that roosters do (I don't know what it's called because I live in a suburb and we don't fucking have ROOSTERS). The roosters don't care what time it is. They make their rooster noises when ever the fuck they hear the dogs. And there have to be at least twenty dogs. I. Am. Not. Kidding. Granted, I have to give the roosters some credit. Part of me wonders if they are yelling at the dogs, telling them "shut the fuck up - we are trying to sleep." But the roosters don't disappoint. They begin to scream without any hindrance, unprovoked by the dogs at 4:30 am, alerting me that the sun is going to come in a few hours. I wonder if they are on East Coast time. Oh, and by the way, it's very hot. And I realize that it's because M turned the A/C off. And I can't sleep because of all these things combined. Even with a pillow over my head. One night wasted sleep.

I mention the night long aural assaults to M the next morning. He blows me off and says he does not hear the sounds. (I discover later that is because he does not sleep. He is literally up at night painting the walls for P. It is fucking weird.) I think to myself that if I could just close the windows, keep the A/C on, I might be able to sleep. And so that is my plan for the coming night.

Through interactions with M, I deduct that he is a complete ass, a dick wad, and I conclude he hates women. He is even mean to the woman he is subletting from, but she blows it off and thinks he is kidding. But I can assure you, he is a fucking prick. He moves things of mine if he doesn't like where they are, like my bagels. He leaves the dish and silverware I used in the dish rack, even though they are dry and he just put his plate away. He lectures me and tells me to leave the light on in the common area, instead of just turning it on when he needs it. I tell him to feel free and eat anything of mine that he likes, and he says, "oh no. No, I will not eat your food." He basically has an issue with everything I do. And he makes me uncomfortable.

The second night, I ask if I can turn on the A/C (since he turned it off on me the night before). I explain that I can't sleep with the window open because of the roosters and the dogs. He says OK, then tells me that I need to talk to P tomorrow. "It expensive to keep running the conditioning. I know P told you it ok, but we try to keep the bill down and I have to pay for the energy you know." He says in the most dickish way possible. "Turn it on, sure, but talk to P tomorrow." Of course I am confused by this. The ad clearly states central A/C, but it also used the word "quiet." I decide to write her an email right at that moment so that I don't forget. I turn the A/C on and close the windows and go to bed.

I discover that the glass is so thin it doesn't matter if they are closed or not. The roosters and the dogs yell at each other all night. In the morning, I finally give up on the idea of sleep and decide to get ready. I realize the air is off again and the front door is wide open. This time, it's P. She is outside the door and apologizes, "oh I thought you were gone." I check my email. In her email response back to me, she says, "I guess we all just tend to watch the bills here as they are very high - I have to pay water, gas, electric and phone/dsl... If you need the A/C because you are hot at night, then OK, but no one here has ever run the A/C here all night long because it's cold down there already." She offers a fan, and I oblige, hoping that it will block out the sound. She is full of shit though. It's hot. She wouldn't know - she doesn't stay down here. She runs the upstairs A/C all the time. Also, she should revise her ad a bit. This is clearly not right.

One morning, I decide that I'm going to use the toaster and make a bagel. It's early, so when I can't find an outlet, I take the toaster into my room and plug it in. For a "furnished" room, it's slim pickings. There is nothing except a bed. There are no tables I place the toaster on the floor near the door. I thought I was being courteous by doing this all on my own - I didn't want to wake M up and ask him where the outlet was. Besides, the space is so small, I know he doesn't have anything to toast and can't imagine he would need it. So after I'm done making my bagel, I decide it's no big deal if I just leave the toaster to cool in my room, near the door that I can only lock if I'm inside. I don't want to touch a hot toaster, much less put it back in a closed cabinet. I figure that I'll just put it back in the cabinet when I get back later.

I had a long day and got back at 9pm. I immediately jumped on the phone to call Matt before he went to bed. It was late for him and I didn't want to keep him too long. I also didn't want to have to talk to M the Slovenian douche bag, so I locked my door and stayed in for the night.

When I woke in the morning, I found this precious little note on the counter in the kitchen:

Confused by this, I immediately put the toaster back. I wondered - did he think I was trying to steal the toaster? Did he think I was going to bring it home with me? That I wanted to hang on to it for a week an a half until I left? That I wanted to somehow shove this toaster into my carry on? What was he planning on toasting? And why a note? Why is this so urgent that he felt he needed to leave a note?

Anyway, realizing that I'm miserable here, I changed my flight to come home two days earlier than scheduled. Turns out that I won't be working those days, so I payed an extra $180 thinking that I'll at least get back $50 for the two days I won't be here. I write P and tell her that I'm leaving Sunday morning and ask If I can get a refund for the two days. She writes me back and says...

"Re: the room for rent, I generally sublet the downstairs as an apartment on a month-to-month basis up to a year lease, like a normal roommate or apartment rental in any city. I'm not a b&b or an inn. This is why I insisted on payment in advance for the 16 days, a cash and carry plan, with no security deposit. I delayed the paint job and offered you the place because you seemed liked a very nice person from your emails and website and I had a good feeling about you (and i was right!) I hope this hasn't confused you - you asked if i would consider you for a very short term and I agreed based on two conditions (one, the money upfront and two, the OK to access the room for repairs which hasn't even been done yet.) (Mathematically, it works out to be $3.50 more a day if spread the total amount over the 14 day term - for the $400 you paid me, your daily rate averaged out to be $25 a day, so the extra $3.50 per day isn't that much and is still more than fair for the price of a furnished room and kitchenette.)"

And I realize at this point she is a Certainly Unfair, Nasty Theif. She thinks it's ok to steal from me. And this is why I am glad that I went through PayPal and kept my correspondence with her in writing. I'm also glad she mentioned to me that the landlords aren't aware of all the changes she's made to the house. They probably also don't know that she has subletters. I can't imagine they would be happy with any of this news. When I am back home, be sure to look for the upcoming post entitled, "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Donny." It will be a hoot.

So, for the next week, I'm stuck in this hell hole, with only a bed in this "furnished" room, unable to use the A/C, and avoiding this place at all costs during my waking hours.

I think my next post will be more upbeat and will focus on the great experiences I've had while here. Or it might be another rant about how I might have lost my day job. Either way, don't let these last two posts get you down. I swear I've still had some good times here. I just feel like I needed to get these experiences out so that I can move on.

Sometimes, even though it can be hard to read, this blog is more therapeutic for me than entertaining for you.

The first 48

2010-07-18T02:30:00.007-04:00

Brace yourself, this is going to get ugly real quick.

I know I'm supposed to be having the time of my life right now. I'm L.A., I'm working on a film, life is good, right? It's funny how the things you take for granted can go to shit real fucking quick.

I got to Los Angeles last Thursday. Plane arrived a little after 10 am - right on time. Waited for the Flyaway bus for over an hour to take me to Union Station so I could save money on a cab. Bus was $7.50. Cab to my hotel was $12 (including tip). Not too bad, except when I finally got to my hotel just before 2 they tell me check in isn't til 3 whatever. Except that the hotel is in Skid Row. I'm not talking about the cool hairband, but the place where the homeless who are sick, chemically dependent, and mentally ill go to set up camp. Yeah, that Skid Row.

Friday I'm asked to come document a table reading. It's going to be really exciting because the cast is together for the first time and I just know the chemistry is going to be great. I'm supposed to be there at 5pm to help set up before the cast gets there. I'm so excited about this that I check and double check the bus schedules. Take the 81 to Townsend and Colorado, I repeat to myself. I should get there 15 minutes early. That will make a good impression, right?

The bus is only a buck fifty. Awesome! So much cheaper than a cab! A cab would have been $40. I just can't afford that every day. When I get on the bus, I realize that I have a 20, a 5 dollar bill, one single, and 35 cents. I inserted my fiver, thinking it would give me back change. I mention this to the bus driver and he treats me like an idiot. "It don't give back change." I ask what can I do? Get a voucher or something? I'm going to have to come back on a bus in a few hours. "No voucher. You don't have a pass, no credit, no voucher." For fucks sake. I've just been robbed. Well, I guess it's cheaper than taking a cab right?

So after 45 minutes when the bus driver says "last stop" and I'm at some kind of weird and scary place I ask "is this Townsend and Colorado?" Only to find out that I got on the bus going the opposite direction. He says, "get out here, I'll swing around and won't charge you for the fair." That's nice of him, I think and get out, cross the road and wait terrified in a part of town I have a feeling isn't all that safe, lugging over 5 thousand dollars worth of video equipment and electronics. When the bus pulls up, he's not on it. I panic and wonder how the hell I'm going to pay for this bus ride. I'm not putting a twenty in the slot knowing there will be no change in return. I must have looked in distress because a fellow bus stop person asked me if I needed some change. The bus starts to pull away and I snatch a quarter from the nice man and chase the bus down with all my equipment.

When I'm on the bus, I am a little relieved to be out of that place and on the right track, but really stressed out because I'm going to be an hour and a half late now. I text Jeremy and he says not to worry.

An hour and a twenty minutes later, it's the same scenario again. The bus stops and there's an awkward eye exchange between me, the driver, and one other passenger - a pregnant lady who is just as confused as I am. I find the all too familiar phrase leaving my lips again. "What about Townsend and Colorado??" "This bus doesn't go there. You need to get off this bus cross the street and take the next one." Huh??

So I get off the bus. The pregnant passenger crosses the street and waits at another bus stop. I google map the Director's address and I'm literally 15 walking minutes away, but I have all of my equipment with me and and I'm already so late that I'm beginning to panic. Again. In the middle of shits creek. The great unknown. I call Matt. And I start sobbing. "If I wasn't working for free, I'm certain they'd fire me," I tell him. I call a cab, afraid that my phone battery will die before I can give my address. The driver takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r to arrive, and then passes me. I chase him down with my gear in tow.

When I'm finally in the cab, he doesn't know how to get where I need to go. "I usually work in Hollywood, but they sent me here. I don't know where I am," he says as he keeps punching in the wrong address to the director's house. For fucks sake. I show him the map on my phone and explain it's only five minutes away. He plugs it in to his car charger and I verbally direct him. Finally, I will get there.

I show up at 7pm. Two hours late and an hour after the reading started. I am a fuck up. I feel like an ass, but I instinctively grab my camera and start recording the reading. And the actors are good. Really good. And it really helps me take my mind off the three hour journey I just had. I'm in my mode now. This is why I'm here.

Toward the end, when Jason, the director, is reading what is happening on screen as the movie comes to an end, my phone alerts me that I've just received a text message. Then it rings. And god help me, there's another message. The cast all hear this too. I already know that it's Matt worried that I've been raped, murdered, mugged, and sold to some pimp, but I can't answer the phone because I'm recording. And this is just one more time when I realize that I'm a fuck up. Always put it on vibrate.

After the reading, the DP offers to take me back to the hotel. She is awesome and kind and my saviour, and I will forever be indebted to her. We chat a little in the car about how she used to live in Charlotte working on Nascar and moved out here to work in motion pictures. She's an assistant camera and has decided to make the plunge to be a full on Director of Photography. I immediately adore her and know that she one of those genuine people that are hard to come by. She drops me off directly in front of the hotel. I am grateful.

That night I decide to get a rental car via priceline. This will not happen again. I also decide to get the fuck out of downtown. I search Craigslist for a sublet and find one that sounds great.

Saturday, I hang out with some LA family, Maria and Trever, and finally meet Sean, Matt's brother. It's wonderful to be with such nice people, especially after the fucked up day I just had. They feed me, make me laugh, and show me all he touristy sights. I am thankful for their kindness and amazed at how much Sean looks like Seamus. Maria is so wonderful. If she wasn't family, I'd still want to be her friend. And Trever is really just as cute as a little boy can be. And he's obsessed with King Kong.

Because she is so nice, Maria offers to drive me to the airport to get my rental the next day. Fearful of the bus system, I take her up on that.

I'm going to Hollywood!

2010-06-09T14:33:00.004-04:00

I'm working on a friend's movie, "Plans," in Hollywood next month (no, I'm totally serious!) and I couldn't be more stoked. It's an Indy - which means funds are limited. Of course, there is no pay. It's a labour of love, and a great opportunity to work with others who are just as passionate about movies as I am.

I'll be the 2nd Assistant Director, which basically means assisting the Assistant Director, wrangling actors, and doing whatever else is needed to make the movie a success. I'm paying for my travel, room and most of my food. Adding this up, it's a bit expensive.

I decided to stay in a really cute hostel named "Stay." For a hostel, it's very clean and private. I get my own room (which screams IKEA) and I share a bathroom. There is Wifi, free breakfast and it's very secure. Oh, and there's a BED. An actual bed. (Some places in my budget didn't even have a stinking bed!) It's a little on the pricey side for a hostel, but I think totally worth it.

I could use your help (money). I hate to ask for help, but this was recommended by my very smart sister and the more I think about it, the better it sounds. I've created a ChipIn widget where family, friends and special folks I cant't categorize can chip in for the Send Carol To Hollywood Fund. I know the economy is in a bad place right now - so please don't feel pressured to donate. But if you have some extra scratch and want to contribute to my fund, by all means, click the CHIP IN button! It works with PayPal, so you can use your PayPal account or credit card to donate. And it's very secure.

And THANK YOU for reading!

Go fuck yourself, 2010

2010-03-17T16:43:00.002-04:00

I've about had it with 2010. this is my second cold of the year and I've already lost an organ. what's next 2010? seriously? what is next. this is not cool and your stupid little games are getting old. you need to grow up and stop acting like a child. I'm not sure why you think its ok to treat me like this. I had nothing but high hopes for you, but now you've gone and blew it. You re going to have to prove yourself to me now. Show me that you aren't the ass I think you are. You're going to have to convince me that I shouldn't just punch you in the dick, 2010 because at this point I have had just about enough of your shenanigans. And you haven't just been an asshole to me, and that makes me really angry. What up with all that rumble bumble earth quake bullshit you been pulling? You don't think I've seen that? Have you heard of the internet, fucker? Yeah, shit gets around. And what the fuck is up with all that health care reform bullshit??? I blame you, 2010. Just fucking pass it already! You are a fucking slacker! Your are acting like such a douche and I can tell you this much, if this crap keeps up, I'm going to ignore you. It will be like you never existed. I'm going to date EVERYTHING 2011. That's right - I said it. You want to act like a turd, I'm just going to pass right over you, and I'm going to urge everyone else to do the same. You know what else? I'm going create a 2011 calendar and put it on my desk. Yup, it's a big FUCK YOU, isn't it? I bet you didn't even think of that, did? I can be a really fucked up bitch, 2010, so don't forget it. You're on notice, asshole.

It's soap time, bitches!

2010-03-07T12:44:00.004-05:00

I made some soap. Well, I made a lot of soap. This batch is Grapefruit, Raspberry & Melon glycerin with chunks of olive oil glycerin. It's to remind myself that Spring is coming. Some day.

If you want some, hit me up!

Brilliant commercial.

2010-03-05T11:22:00.004-05:00

You ever see that Pristiq Commercial? Man, that song is awesome. I'm sorry creepy wind-up doll, I can't pay attention to what you're talking about cause that piano music is ballin'!

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the commercial:

I know the sound on this video is really low, but I love it because of the awesome notes added to the video.

I miss you. But it's better this way.

2010-03-04T23:33:00.010-05:00

Dear Appendix,

Hi. It's me. I'm just wondering how you are. It's been almost two weeks since you left. Ok, I know. You didn't leave of your own accord, but you should have known that you can't just act like a total douche and expect that our relationship is going to stay the same. It hasn't been easy for me either, I'll have you know. Your dick-headed behavior has really set me back some. I missed a whole week of work, only left the house once since I came home from the hospital, and who knows how much your bullshit attitude is going to cost me financially. Not to mention the physical pain and nausea and cramps!

Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I actually really miss you. It's kind of sad. I took you for granted for 32 years. I unintentionally ignored you for so long, heck - sometimes I wasn't even sure you were actually there. I can't blame you for the way things ended. I was selfish and never thought about you - never thought about how my actions affected you. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was the douche. If roles were reversed, Appendix, I would have thrown a fit, too. What I'm trying to say is... I understand why you did what you did. Apparently, this happens to a lot of people and there appendices.

I don't know where you are right now, Appendix, but I hope you're in a better place. I hope the rage you had when I last saw you has subsided and that you are on the beach in Costa Rica or somewhere equally beachy and beautiful. I hope you're drinking a margarita, thinking about me and the good times we've shared. Maybe now you can finally move to Hollywood and get that big break you've been hoping for as model on The Price Is Right. I was just holding you back - I see that now. Oh god, I miss you so much it hurts. Literally.

You'll always be a part of me, Appendix. Don't forget me. I will never forget you.

-C.

ps. Large intestine says 'hi'. Small asks if he can move into your room. I told him it was too soon. Now that's a real douche!

My mid-life crisis

2010-02-28T11:38:00.008-05:00

In January 2006, my father celebrated his 64th birthday in a hospital bed. Three days later he passed away.

On the 17th I turned 32. I did not welcome this birthday and actually tried to make it pass without notice. Realizing that 32 could very well be mid-life for me (as it was for my Dad), I had a bit of an internal crisis. Health-wise, I take after my father's side of the family. I'm not in good health and it's been an uphill battle for a few years now. Knowing my father's fate, I kept fearing that something bad was going to happen to me this birthday. A car accident, another burst cyst, a heart attack, mugging, etc. I was in a funk.

My birthday came and I intentionally didn't do much. The highlight was going to dinner at the Spotted Dog with Mom, Mary, Greg & Matt. A few days later Matt and I decided that we would finally update the bathroom. We did a great job. Kept the updates under $300 and it only took 3 days to do everything we wanted to do. On the last day, 4 days after my birthday, we were finishing up the bathroom when I began to feel awful. I started throwing up and the pain in my stomach became so excruciating that I couldn't stop moaning or shaking with pain. Matt decided to take me to the emergency room around 9pm (after first locking the keys into the house and breaking into the house). Turns out I needed an emergency appendectomy.

They performed the surgery early Monday morning after being in the emergency room for 8 hours. I came home Monday night and have been laid up and bored out of my mind since. I return to work tomorrow (Monday) but will be working from home for the week. Hopefully I'll be in good enough shape to return to the office next Monday.

All this time stuck in my house has got me thinking about things I'd like to do (and wish I could do at this moment). So I've created a list. Most of these are things I'd like to do this year. Some are things I'd just like to start on. Kind of like my mid-life bucket list.

Get to the gym more
Go for a walk
Write in my blog more
Farmers market
Make more soap
Ride my bike
Finish ninja school
Adapt takeover to musical
Eat more greens
Hang out with friends
Have twins or triplets
Get my degree
Paint all the rooms in the house
Update the kitchen
Lay carpet in computer room
Organize computer room
Plant lots of grass outside
Pressure wash the porch
Make a garden
Grow my own veggies/herbs
Make a compost pile
Tear down the sheds in the back
Organize the main shed
Remodel the master bath
Meditate
Yoga
Road trip
Medieval Times
Clean the car
Mystery dinner theater

Polycystic rant

2009-03-10T21:08:00.007-04:00

A dear friend of mine posted a pic of me on facebook that she took around the summer of '97 or '98. She's an amazing photographer, has been since I met her, but the photo made me sad. I was somewhere near 20 years old. Clear skin, healthy weight and optimistic about my future.

It's amazing what a hormonal imbalance can do to your body. I was chubby as a child and was lucky enough to shed the weight in the 8th grade. I lost weight so quickly that some terrible girls at school accused me of using cocaine (middle school girls are horrible). Truth is the weight just came off on it's own. I've never been able to control my weight - in either direction.

I was a good healthy weight from '91 to 2006, ranging from 106 - 130 (I'm only 5'1"). In the fall of 2005 I began having issues with spotting, and not just a few days here and there, but spotting for months straight with horrible cramps. After changing doctors a few times, I finally found one that thought an ultrasound would be a good idea. Turns out I had a few pollups in my uterus and I was prescribed a higher dose of estrogen and had the pollups removed in November '05. I am still very angry that my previous doctors ignored my issues - two years prior I was hospitalized when a hemorrhagic cyst burst on my left ovary which caused internal bleeding. Shouldn't this have been a good warning sign that something was wrong with my ovaries/uterus right away?

My father passed away at the end of January 2006. I was devastated. I went from 125 to 170 in 6 months. At the time, I thought that the weight gain must have been caused by my depression and not taking care of myself properly. I had never heard of PCOS then and had no idea that depression was a symptom, just as weight gain, fatigue and acne were also symptoms. In hindsight, knowing that I had a *huge* increase in my hormones to stop my spotting right before my surgery, it makes sense to me that my weight gain was caused by a hormonal shift.

This makes me angry. I have had hormonal issues since puberty - missing periods for months straight, sometimes only getting it 3 times a year. I was put on the pill to regulate my period when I was 17. If I had a competent doctor at any time prior to my surgery, would I be on three medications, 50 lbs over-weight and battling IBS issues caused by the meds?

When I saw that photo Jennifer took of me it made me sad because I don't know if I'll ever have control over my own body. I hope one day to be healthy, happy and a mom. I don't know if I'll ever live the life I once took for granted that I would have.

Open Letter to the Guy Who Broke Into My Car And Stole My GPS Unit

2009-02-24T20:51:00.005-05:00

Hey Jackass,
Thanks a lot. You broke my car's window for a refurbished Magellan which only cost 79 bucks in the first place. Way to pick 'em, fucker. No one is going to want to buy the unit from you with a big "RF" imprinted on it. But obviously you ain't so bright in the first place or else you'd have a fucking job and wouldn't need to break into people's cars to steal their shit.

Oh, and by the way, in case you hadn't noticed I'm broke. I live in the same crappy apartment complex you do, fuck face, which is why I bought a refurbished GPS unit. And not only am I minus a Magellan now, thanks to you and your brilliance I am now $500 in the hole because of your stupid ass. I have to replace my window, jackass - you know, the one you smashed to steal the refurbished magellan?

By the way, if I see my Magellan in your car, I'm going to smash your fucking windshield, take it back, and leave a big fucking turd on the driver's seat. Then I'm going to put multiple screws face up under each tire, so when you pull out you'll be inserting screws into your fucking tires. Then I'm going to wait a few weeks and bash in your new windshield. I will wait in the bushes for you, dressed as a goddamd clown and bust your kneecaps with a baseball bat while giggling the whole time.

Then I'm going to visit you in your dreams and kick your ass again. There is no escape.

Needless to say, you are totally fucked. Maybe you should have stayed in school.

-Carol

Preparation

2009-02-19T12:16:00.002-05:00

It's Thursday and I took the day off to get ready for the DGA trainee program test. It takes place in NYC early Saturday morning (I have to be at the testing place at 7:30 am). Initially I was going to travel to NY today and hang out with Alison but Matt wanted to come and only asked for Friday off.
Tuesday was my birthday. We saw Coraline in 3D which was pretty amazing. We also went to dinner at Jimmy Carino's. I wanted to keep it low key because it was a weekday and, quite honestly, it's just another birthday. Matt invited our friends and family to dinner Sunday for Live Mariachi music and yummy Mexican food. I can't wait!

Halloween is here!

2008-10-31T12:22:00.002-04:00

YAY! I love Halloween!
I also love that fact that we celebrate Halloween at work!
Here are some pictures of the creative and crazy people I work with: Lulu Blog Flickr
Here's a picture of a cake I brought in for the potluck, it's a three-headed monster cake!

Happy Halloween, everyone!

SNL - Sarah Palin & Hillary Clinton

2008-09-14T23:59:00.002-04:00

This is just AMAZING!

Porn for Women

2008-09-11T16:08:00.004-04:00

My Friend Christine sent this to me in an email. I thought it was cute and had to share :)
Enjoy!

"Ooh, Look, The NFL playoffs are today. I bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair."

"I know. Let's take you shoe shopping!"

"Don't want anyone 'falling in' in the middle of the night."

"I don't have to have a reason to buy you flowers."

"Hold that thought for a second. I want to pull over and ask for directions."

"I like to get to these things before I have to be asked."

"Is that the baby? I'll get her."

"As long as I have legs to walk, you'll never have to take out the garbage."

Sarah Palin's Shameful Record on Wolves

2008-09-05T10:08:00.004-04:00

I received this email from a friend of mine and thought I needed to share it. I couldn't watch the video, I know myself better than that.

Please forward this message along.

Thanks,
Carol

Tonight Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will accept the Republican nomination for Vice President, a position that would put her second in line to be President of the United States. But before she accepts, I need your help to let America know where she stands on the brutal and needless aerial hunting of wolves and bears.

Watch our new video on Palin's awful record and share it with everyone you know who cares abut wildlife.

Get the facts on Sarah Palin. Watch the video

Warning: This video is extremely disturbing. It contains graphic images of aerial hunting of wolves -- a brutal and needless practice that Governor Palin has fought hard to promote and expand.

Despite strong scientific, ethical and public opposition to aerial hunting, Governor Palin has…

* Proposed paying a $150 bounty for the left foreleg of each dead wolf.
* Approved a $400,000 state-funded propaganda campaign to promote aerial hunting.
* Introduced legislation to make it even easier to use aircraft to hunt wolves and bears.

If you care about wildlife, please watch this video right now -- and then share it with every friend, neighbor, conservationist and wildlife lover you know.
Tonight, all eyes will be on Governor Sarah Palin. Let's make sure the whole nation knows about her awful record on aerial hunting and protecting wildlife.

Respectfully,

P.S. Please also share our video on blogs, social networks and elsewhere. I've pasted the link to the video below to help you spread the word:
http://actionfund.defenders.org/palinvideo

Oh, fuckity fuck fuck.

2008-08-31T18:59:00.002-04:00

Most days I don't really think too much about PCOS. It's always there, in the back of my mind, but it's a mild nagging like "you better go to the gym and work hard to reduce those symptoms" or "you shouildn't eat that delicious carb laden food becuase it just aggrevates your symptoms." Sometimes the thoughts are comical, light, and I intentionally try not to get too worked up over this syndrome. There are lots of other things that could be wrong with me and I am a very lucky person to have symptoms a lot less severe than many other women afflicted with this crap. All in all, I've got it pretty damn easy.

But there are days like today, and weeks like this past one which have made it harder to be so relaxed with all the bullshit.

I don't want to go into full details and make this a complaint blog, but I do want my friends to know that if I break plans last minute or if you believe I have become a hermit or ran away to join the nunnery/circus, I haven't. I am most likely in my bed with my cats while my social husband is out having fun at a bbq. Which is exactly what is happening right now.

I wish my damn insides were normal but I'm way past the point of feeling sad, and quickly down the path to punching this PCOS bullshit in the eyeball. Yeah, I said eyeball. Be scared, fucker.

One last attempt!

2008-08-27T16:23:00.002-04:00

I started filming Moshing with Melvin in January 2004. It is now August 2008 and the documentary is still not finished. Yesterday I met up with the second person who attempted to edit the film only to realize the task was too great and too difficult. I am realizing that I either need to make this thing happen or just write it off as a learning experience. Documentaries can be a lot more difficult that the standard scripted movie, but on the other hand a really great doc can be life changing.

So here I go again, my last attempt to make this little documentary work. My goal is to get it ready by October to be submitted to Full Frame. I really hope that it makes it.

Playing for Keeps - the novel by Mur Lafferty

2008-08-25T09:50:00.004-04:00

Hi Everyone!

I don't usually make announcements about books on Amazon, but this is a special case. Actually, a good number of you have asked me to remind you when this book would be available.... here is your official reminder!

My friend and former co-worker Mur Lafferty is an amazing writer and her latest book from Swarm Press is available on Amazon. If you can, please purchase it MONDAY AUGUST 25. A bunch of us Mur supporters are trying to get her Amazon sales rankings up with concentrated sales on MONDAY 8/25, so if you are a fan of the written word, (not so) super heroes, and all things awesome, please purchase a copy! It's ON SALE as I type for $13.45 on Amazon HERE!

Thanks! And please tell everyone you think deserves an awesome book!

Playing For Keeps - Mur Lafferty

The shining metropolis of Seventh City is the birthplace of super powers. The First Wave heroes are jerks, but they have the best gifts: flight, super strength, telepathy, genius, fire. The Third Wavers are stuck with the leftovers: the ability to instantly make someone sober, the power to smell the past, the grace to carry a tray and never drop its contents, the power to produce high-powered excrement blasts, absolute control. over elevators. Bar owner Keepsie Branson is a Third Waver with a power that prevents anything in her possession from being stolen. Keepsie and her friends just aren't powerful enough to make a difference. at least that's what they've always been told. But when the villain Doodad slips Keepsie a mysterious metal sphere, the Third Wavers become caught in the middle of a battle between the egotistical heroes and the manipulative villains. As Seventh City begins to melt down, it's hard to tell the good guys from the bad, and even harder to tell who may become the true heroes.

Mur will be interviewed on The State of Things TUESDAY August 26th on NPR. Tune in at NOON, TUESDAY 8/26 to hear the interview! If you will be away from your radio, you can listen online here www.wunc.org either LIVE or later via PODCAST!

Also, if you are attempting to purchase a copy of Playing For Keeps and Amazon tells you the book is sold out, ignore it. The publisher prints books as they are ordered, so you will get your book in a timely manner. I promise :)Please be sure to check out the Playing For Keeps website at www.playingforkeepsnovel.com and the social networking site for PFK at www.thirdwave.ning.com

Mur's website is www.murverse.com

New site! and BURNED OUT!

2008-08-03T00:17:00.006-04:00

Please forgive me if this post is sloppy and makes no sense. I have been working on my NEW WEBSITE for almost 13 hours straight! It looks great, might I add. It's not quite finished, but please feel free to check it out : www.carolhousel.com

I had some difficulty with the domain transfer, but Jeremy helped me out and made the switch for me (he rocks).

Well, I better get off of this computer before my eyes burst into flames (they are burning).

Please, check the site out. Let me know if there is a typo, if I forgot anything, or if you have any ideas on how to make it better.

Oh - also, I am in the process or creatiing a marketing plan for Moshing With Melvin. If you have any ideas, please share!!!

Thanks!

Change (and one example of why I sometimes hate it).

2008-07-25T11:14:00.009-04:00

Sometimes I have a hard time with change. The most difficult types of change for me include (but are not limited to) lifestyle, loss, and surroundings. Saturday, Matt and I will be moving into a new apartment. This week has been difficult and stressful because my surroundings are chaotic, which means it's almost impossible for me to maintain my healthy lifestyle changes (eating well and exercising), and while I hate that my current apartment is geographically far removed from EVERYTHING, at least things work and are clean - beneath the boxes and chaos, anyway. I am scared to be leaving the apartment that I know, especially after actually finally seeing the apartment that I will be living in.

When Matt and I decided to take over a lease we found on Craigslist, we were ecstatic. The poster said that she was going through a divorce and needed to break her lease. It sounded like a great deal: It was closer to work for me (approx the same distance to work for Matt), it had a pool, a gym, a dishwasher, washer/dryer, and rent included extended cable (all things that we love about our current apartment), and it was a three bedroom for $720! A great way for Matt and I to continue to save money for our first home. The Craigslist poster was in a hurry to get us to agree to take over her lease, as she needed to give 30 days notice to the leasing office that she would be leaving. Of course with the short notice and conflicting work schedules between Matt, the Craigslist poster and myself, we were never able to actually SEE her apartment. We were very wary about signing a lease for an apartment that we hadn't seen, so Anna (the Craigslist poster) sent us digital images via her blackberry. Even though these pictures were exceptionally pixelated, I noticed that *every room* had a different color of paint on the walls. Anna assured me that these would be painted back before we moved in - I have that in writing. We were still a bit concerned about signing a lease for an apartment that we couldn't see in person so the leasing office showed us a 2 bedroom model, in order to give us an idea of the type of apartments they have. The apartment was great, and we were excited to move!

Yesterday, Matt and I met at the leasing office after work to transfer the lease into our name. After we signed the official lease, the leasing agent informed us that Anna was only able to paint one of the bedrooms. I groaned. Think The Yellow Wallpaper by Gilman. The living room walls are yellow (YELLOW) and our sectional is purple. Barf.

We got our keys and went up to check out our apartment. First, I was assaulted by the worst odor I have ever smelled in my life. Anna left a jar of some god-forsaken oil with sticks hanging out of it. I couldn't even recognize the smell, only that it was seriously turning my stomach and making me gag. I picked it up and took it outside immediately. In the process of removal I must have accidentally touched some of the oil, because 15 hours later and NUMEROUS washings I STILL cannot get the smell off of my hand! Then I realized that not only was the living room a BRIGHT uneven YELLOW, but the master bedroom was a disgusting green, the computer room was now an uneven purple (instead of the original pink - she doesn't know how to use primer), the kitchen had two stupid racks screwed into the walls which left holes when we removed them, the kitchen and dining room are yellow, and the guestroom is a color I don't even recognize. And, for some reason which I will never understand, she PAINTED THE LENOLIUM COUNTER TOPS IN THE KITCHEN. Who does that???? Seriously? You don't paint lenolium with LATEX PAINT. And, for the love of god - who paints an apartment????

Ok, so the place needs to be painted and it smells. Fine. But, upon further inspection I am growing more and more angry. The fridge door is missing the handle needed to open it, the counter tops that aren't painted are dirty and stained, the cabinets were painted a while ago and are dirty and chipping, there is an obvious replacement square of carpet right as you enter (not to mention various spots and stains throughout), the closet door in the hallway is broken and leaning against the shelves, I can't get the screen door on the patio to close, the bathroom cabinets are REALLY OLD, the master bedroom top of the drain stop is missing, the guest bedroom has a GIGANTIC wood fan, which I imagine Anna installed herself, because it doesn't match any of the other fans in the apartment and is better suited for a large Ski resort, the closet door in the computer room refuses be set back in it's track, and the stove looks like it is from 1970 and is dirty and missing knobs, AND THE ENTIRE PLACE IS DIRTY. ACCCCCK! Needless to say, I am VERY UNHAPPY.

Matt and I went back to the leasing office and explained that the place needed to be painted, and since we are moving in on Saturday, we would like it to be done ASAP. The agent said that Anna would pay for that, and that she would see if she could get the painters in on Friday (Today). On the way to get some dinner, the leasing agent called and said the painters would definitely come Friday (YAY!). I picked up a sage smudge stick at Whole Foods for $10, hoping that this would clear out all the negative divorce and stupidity vibes. Matt and I traveled back to the new apartment, burnt the sage and left a note asking the painters to fill the holes in the wall and paint ALL the walls in the apartment. We also left them a coupon for a free pizza and some beer and water in the fridge. Hopefully our bribes will work. I'll find out after work.

Currently I am assembling a laundry list of things for the maintenance crew to fix and another laundry list of cleaning supplies that must be picked up to make that apartment inhabitable. I'm trying with all my might to not put my left hand too close to my nose (that horrible smell won't go away!) but it's growing eceedingly more difficult not to drop my head in my hands with each new addition to my maintenance/cleaning supply lists.

Oh, I hate change sometimes.

For the sake of a new post...

2008-07-17T22:49:00.002-04:00

"I hate faux hawks. Stupid NHL players went from the mullet to the stupid faux hawk." - another hair statement made by Matt Kenney

So, I haven't written in a while, but I'm still alive. Matt and I decided t hold off on buying our first home. The economy is pretty terrible right now and we are too scared to buy. Maybe next year...

Haven't been up to much. Nothing interesting to report. I started boxing. Will be moving to Durham next week.

That's all for now.

Twitter ROCKS!

2008-05-10T12:44:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you have heard of twitter or not, but let me introduce you!

Twitter is a site that constantly updates you on what your friends and family are doing. It's a page of updates from your loved ones that you can access from the web, your phone (via text messaging) or IM.

You can see my twitter on the right side of my blog. Sign up is really easy, and they don't need much information from you. Twitter is only worthwhile if your friends and family sign up and USE it, so please click "follow me on twitter" under my twitter updates on the right on this page

:)

If you would like more information on twitter, visit www.twitter.com
There is a cute little video that explains twitter better than I can.

ADIOS, SUCKA!

crazy week so far

2008-05-02T16:10:00.000-04:00

Saturday I shot and edited a PSA for Open BBQ Open Jam.
I think it went very well. Every year, my pal Matt Frye and his Friend Stan put on this event for a different cause. This year OBOJ is highlighting IntraHealth. To learn more about IntraHealth, go here: www.intrahealth.org. This year's OBOJ will be held at Smokey's BBQ Shack in Morrisville, NC on June 14th from 11am to Sunset. For more information, visit www.oboj.org You can see the PSA here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hov7zCF5PU or on local NBC17.

Sunday I drove to Maryland with my Mom, Sister Ann and Matt to see Grandma.
She looked just as cute as always, and it was nice to spend the day with the ladies - and Matt. We listened to Paying For Keeps the entire ride there and back, and it ROCKED! If you still haven't read this or listened to the podcast, you have got to! www.playingforkeepsnovel.com What are you waiting for, it's free!

Monday was OBAMA!! rally in Chapel Hill. So freaking awesome!
Obama was amazing. It was great to see the Smith Center at UNC packed to the brim. I was lucky enough to be one of the first 100 people inside along with a bunch of my friends, so we were on the floor 10 feet away from Obama! It was great! He talked about how the gas holiday was a joke and that it would only save us approx $30 in total. The money accumulated from the gas tax goes to the Department of Transportation for our roads and bridges. A gas tax holiday, even if only for the three months that McCain and Clinton are hoping for, would result in the loss of 3,000 DOT jobs. There is something terribly wrong when politicians think it is OK to lay more people off when we are going into a recession, especially if it will only save drivers $30. I would rather pay the extra tax! I'm really sick of politicians saying what they think I want to hear, when it is so obvious that they don't care about us at all. I wish this primary was over already.

Tuesday was low key.
My legs needed to relax a little from standing in the same place for hours and hours and hours......

Wednesday was another doctor visit that went better than expected.
I saw the OB/GYN PCOS/Fertility expert. He assured me that if and when I was ready to have children, it was very possible. Just not to wait until 37 or older. He did say that fertility treatments can be very expensive and result in multiple births. Scary!

Thursday was walk around Carrboro with my sweetie day.
We ate dinner at Weaver Street Market and had a good 'ol time hippy watching. Some girl kept eating a salad with her fingers. I wanted to throw a fork at her!

And today has been the workday that just won't end!

I have recently fallen in love with an awesome Pilates DVD and I have to suggest it to you! It's called the 10 Minute Solution Slim & Sculpt Pilates. This is by far the best fitness DVD I have ever purchased. I haven't seen any results yet, this morning was only my third morning doing the DVD, but what I love about it is that you are given the option to do as much as 50 minutes or as little as 10 minutes. The DVD allows you to create your own workout from the 5 different Pilates segments. So, say I want to do two segments - abs and lower body, no problem! And it's only 20 minutes! I really have no excuse not to exercise every morning now! And you get a resistance band with the DVD too. So awesome! I can really tell I'm doing some serious strength training with that band. I got my copy at Walmart for 10 bucks. So cheap and convenient!

I love my new pedometer!

Look at my stats!
Daily Goal 10,000 steps
Ths: 5/1 - 12,456 (413 calories) 4.71 miles
Wed: 4/30 - 10,006 (327 calories) 3.79 miles
Tus: 4/29 - 2,802 (104 calories) 1.06 miles - took a break that day, tired feet!
Mon: 4/28 - 4,295 (154 calories) 1.62 miles - stuck in the same spot for 7 hours (Obama rally) Sun: 4/27 - 1,375 (43 calories) .52 miles - Stuck in car all day
Sat: 4/26 - 3,906 (132 calories) 1.47 miles - PSA day
Fri: 4/25 - 10,077 (327 calories) 3.81 miles
-------------------------------------------------------
7 days = 44,917 steps / 1,500 calories / 16.98 miles

Hey Jude

2008-04-25T10:25:00.000-04:00

Adorable baby singing Hey Jude!

korean baby singing hey jude

I Have Had Enough!

2008-04-24T13:00:00.000-04:00

I was on my daily walk today during my lunch break and Have You Had Enough by Maxwell/Mosher (of the Squirrel Nut Zippers fame) came on my iPod and I thought, "Wow, this is extremely relevant! I should share this on my blog!!"

I love M/M, not only because Tom and Ken are super awesome and super kind guys, but their music is totally kick ass!

Had Enough, as wikipedia says anyways, was created in 2006 urging people to vote to get the crooks out of the white house.

You can download the song here for free, but if you like it a lot please buy their album! www.myspace.com/maxwellmosher

The Stephanie Miller show

2008-04-24T11:04:00.000-04:00

I love her! And today I just realized that I an listen to her at work :)

www.stephaniemiller.com

It airs from 9am-12pm. It's free! And HILARIOUS!

If you want to listen, go here: http://stephaniemiller.com/subscribe.php
Click on the option at the bottom right (the free option). Create an account and listen :)

Earthling Day

2008-04-22T15:38:00.000-04:00

It's Earth Day! And since I've started this path to be more granola, I thought I would share some things that I have learned along the way!

Did you know that when you ingest Aspartame, your body turns it into embalming fluid? No fucking shit! Originally I heard about this in Skinny Bitch, but a little bit o' research on the web produces the same results. Stay away from artificial sweeteners, they are the devil.

Did you know that organic foods are are safer, have more anti-oxidants and better tasting! When you eat foods that aren't organic, the pesticides build up in your body. It's true! If you haven't switched to organic yet, what are you waiting for?

So, I went to a PCOS specialist 1.5 weeks ago and that was pretty damn depressing. I hadn't realized how fucked up this syndrome was, but it appears I am up against some pretty horrible health issues. Good thing I was diagnosed before diabetes or heart disease kicked in. Sadly I was told that if I wanted children I should have started in my 20s. WTF?!? Anyway, I'm trying to kick this thing in the ass and you can help!

Here's how:
When you see me, suggest that we do something that requires energy! I know, I am probably one of the laziest people you know, but it will help me, I swear.

Don't offer me alcoholic beverages (ok, maybe just one) because the fact of the matter is that shit really screws up my blood sugar, and I am trying *not* to become diabetic.

Another thing that will help.... don't give me ice cream! I love ice cream, like nobody's business, but ice cream is the devil.

Volunteer to come on hikes/walks with me. I love this stuff! I have been walking a lot lately, I even got an awesome pedometer at my Dr.s suggestion. Goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day. Haven't quite made it that far yet, but right now I am at 5,859. Half way there!

Learn about PCOS - seriously, you could have it too! It is one of the most misdiagnosed syndromes out there. So little is known about it that it was featured on Mystery Diagnosis on Discovery Health.

A cat playing the theremin

2008-04-15T13:19:00.000-04:00

Thank you for showing me this David!!!!

When will you get your stimulus package?

2008-03-20T12:16:00.000-04:00

The IRS says... it may take a while.

They EXIST!

2008-03-14T11:35:00.000-04:00

I love gnomes gnomes gnomes!

Check out this article!
You have to watch the video too! Poor little guy probably just wanted some beer!

i am so freaking white!

2008-03-11T17:13:00.000-04:00

this is my new favorite blog http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

editor/co-director needed

2008-03-02T20:40:00.000-05:00

anytime i need something, i go to craigs list.
this time i posted an ad looking for an editor/co-director to help me finish my mwm doc. i have had three responses so far. i'm pretty damn excited!
i just told matt the good news.
he said "three responses? i hope they're not rapists."
he's got high-hopes for this film.

Veggie and Vegan HOT WINGS recipe!

2008-02-29T05:18:00.000-05:00

I love the Spotted Dog.
If you haven't been there, they have a great selection of delicious vegetarian, vegan and meat-eater dishes. My favorite dish, by far, is their Veggie Hot Wings. After a few attempts, I can finally say that I have a Veggie Hot Wing recipe that rivals! And it's a lot cheaper!
Enjoy!

My Favorite Veggie Hot Wings Recipe
Serves 6

Ingredients:
2 Bags of Delight Soy Nuggets
1 cup Franks Red Hot Sauce
1/2 cut of *butter or margarine
1 Tsp Garlic powder
1 Tbsp Chili Powder
1.5 Tbsp *Honey (leave out Honey to make these Vegan)
Celery and *Bleu Cheese

In a large pot, combine Frank's Red Hot Sauce, butter, garlic powder, chili powder and honey. Heat until desired temperature.

At the same time, in a large skillet with a little bit of hot Olive Oil fry the Soy Nuggets until crispy, flipping as necessary. Dab excess Olive Oil from Soy Nuggets and toss into Hot Sauce pot. Mix until evenly coated and serve on a plate garnished with celery and bleu cheese!

*To make these Vegan: substitute butter with a non-dairy butter alternative, use half Tbsp of brown sugar, and try this Vegan Bleu Cheese recipe (I haven't tried it yet):

1/4 C extra firm or firm tofu crumbled, drained, patted dry
1 large garlic clove minced
1/4 C lemon juice
1/2 C vegan mayo (Vegenaise)
2 T tahini
2 tsp white miso
2 tsp apple cider vinegar
2 T fresh parsley
2 tsp fresh chives (dry is just fine)
pinch pepper and salt
soymilk if you like it thin

Crumble tofu, mix it all up, let it sit a bit, ENJOY
Also thrown it all in the blender to great success.

mohwaks in the future

2008-02-28T00:23:00.000-05:00

Matt asked me a very important question the other day... he said why is it that in movies, people in the future always have mohawks?
I think that is a very good question, especially when you think about how much work it takes to sculpt a really kick-ass mohawk. In the future, it appears that people are very busy fighting things... when do they find the time?

Not much happening here.... turns out I'm a bad driver, and I rear-ended someone Friday on the way home from work. Not much damage to the car. Scratches is all. I screwed my neck up some, and got some muscle relaxers that made me sleep the whole weekend.
I haven't taken them since.
Is your neck supposed to make crunching noises at the base of your skull? This is a serious question....... not sure if I should be alarmed.

I just got back from my ninja class. Thats all I can say about that.

Why is it when someone says "You did a bang-up job," it means something good? I did a bang-up job on my car, and my neck is crunchy. I don't think thats a good thing.

I had my annual physical Monday. Apparently I'm a big fattie bombalattie... and I have high cholesterol. I convinced my doc not to put me on cholesterol pills (I'm only 30 and I'm a freaking vegetarian... give me a break) if I met with a nutritionist. I'll be meeting one next Wednesday. I am not fond of her phone manners, but I suck on the phone anyway. So maybe she is not fond of my phone manners too. I hope she doesn't punch my face when I meet her.

As a gift you to for reading this much crap so far, I present to you your very own personalized ring tones! I made a ring tone of an snmnmnm song. Just follow the directions on the site.... and don't worry, it is free! www.myxertones.com

Barack + Hillary = TL

2008-02-27T14:14:00.000-05:00

so wrong!

The Politics of Politics

2008-02-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

We have the right to vote. Every American has the right to vote thanks to the radical idea that all *people* are created equal. Women weren't able to vote until 1920. Blacks were finally given the right to vote in 1965. I find it amazing that my mother went to school during desegregation, and that my oldest sister was an infant when blacks were given the right to vote. This country has a long history of racism and sexism, and the dust of injustice has never actually settled.

Given the above facts, this election proves to be one of the most ground breaking elections of our lifetime.

Barack Obama is ahead in the polls, and people are coming out in record breaking numbers just to vote in the primaries. Obama has so many people supporting him that the term "Obamacans" has been created to identify Republicans for Obama.

The idealist in me cries almost every time I hear Obama speak. Critics accuse his words of hope and inspiration as being empty and without proper foundation. I guess some folks would be happier with "politics as usual" where the majority of us citizens feel like our vote doesn't count so we don't even bother to get to the polls. I am here to tell you that many, many people died and sacrificed everything they had so that we could all have an equal voice. Don't throw it away.

As promised, here is a general breakdown of all the candidates and where they stand on the issues. Information taken from www.ontheissues.org

Republican Party Candidates:
Mike Huckabee facts
John McCain facts
Ron Paul facts

Democratic Party Candidates:
Hillary Clinton facts
Barack Obama facts

Green Party Candidate:
Cynthia McKinney facts

Socialist Party Candidate:
Brian Moore facts

dirty thirty

2008-02-16T16:43:00.000-05:00

I am absolutely amazed that anyone reads this thing! You must be really bored!

I have the most wonderful friends, without a doubt! Last night was awesome (to be sung in falsetto). I was graced with the presence of Ro, Thom & Becky (who made the most fabulous birthday cake ever), Katy, Jet, Matt & Julie, Irene, Seamus, JJ & Sasha, and my sweetie. I had an unbelievably good time. The Federal proved to be one of my new favorite hangouts. The atmosphere is great, my only complaint is there isn't much on the menu for vegetarians unless you want to fill up on pasta. I spent $8 on a plate that had 3 pieces of cheese, a bit of salad, and a partial bagette.

After the Federal, the remaining folks went to Duke Coffee House to hear T. Rox and Snmnmnm. I only heard a little bit of T. Rox, but they sounded good. Snmnmnm borrowed T. Rox's drummer Gary for a few songs. Gary is unbelievably talented, but it still makes me sad when I look up there and don't see Matt V. Mark played drums for a little bit, and he was pretty darn good. I think all of those guys just have a natural knack with all instruments. I guess thats what happens when you go to Eastman.

I also became a huge fan of Irene's dancing, as it is like nothing I have ever seen before in my life! Becky and I cut the rug for a little bit, Thom had a break dance face-off with a cute girl, and Jet broke it down - James Brown. Matt did his interpretavive ROBOT dance (the reason I married him, by the way - I am not kidding about this), and the crowd loved it.

Afterwards, we hung around and talked politics with some awesome kids. I "bragged" about my socialist background to a kid who wrote "Workers of the world unite" on his arms in sharpie only to discover that he didn't write it there because he is a socialist. I forgot the reason he wrote it. For his sake, I hope it comes off soon. Messy handwriting.

After that, we ventured home.

This morning I realized I drank a little too much, but my hangover has pretty much subsided. I don't drink often these days. The medication I take for PCOS is supposed to help my body regulate my insulin levels, and when I do drink I seem to get drunk a lot easier and my body gets really angry at me. But, I figured it's my birthday, dammit. Bring on the rum and diet!

I am looking forward to seeing my family today. Not sure when they are getting in town, but I have a feeling I will be eating dinner at my mom's with everyone. I should probably get in the shower already, it's almost 2:00 pm. Matt is sleeping, and most likely Patches is somewhere near by snoring.

Last night I promised Ro that my next blog post would be a general breakdown of the presidential candidates. Unfortunately Ro is a disenfranchised voter. It's going to take some work to get him to go to the polls, but I'll do my best. Because I didn't get that post done today, I promise it will be my next one.

To all of you who came out last night, I really want to thank you for making my 30th birthday celebration a very happy one. I am unbelievably lucky to know you people, and even luckier that you talk to me in public, despite my horrendous odor problems. I love you all! Becky and Thom, thank you so much for planning this. Your cake was unbelievable and thanks to you, my birthday celebration was awesome!

- I promise to post pictures soon! I keep forgetting to bring the camera with me! Dammit!

paws for a second and take a look!

2008-02-16T16:00:00.000-05:00

There are so many worthy furry companions at your local animal shelter.
Why not give one a good home?

No Country For Old Ladies

2008-02-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have the sweetest husband on the planet. Apparently, he has declared this week my Birthday week, and has been spoiling me all week. Last night I came home from getting my hair did to find the apartment cleaned and flowers and a card waiting for me! What a sweetie. Then we went to Ming Garden for dinner and saw No County For Old Men. Let me tell you, that movie was AWESOME! All the actors were incredible, and the lead bad guy was so freaking insane and brilliant. I think this is my new favorite movie!

I know what you're thinking, not a very romantic movie to watch on Valentine's Day. But hey, we saw Brokeback Mountain 2 years ago on Valentine's Day and that was DEPRESSING! It was good, but holy crap! Maybe next V-Day we'll see a hilarious documentary on child abuse or maybe something cheery and bright about the holocaust.

My hair cut leaves a lot to be desired. This is my second time with this stylist, and I think it will be my last. She has a hard time listening to what I want and just seems to give me whatever the hell she thinks is best. I'm not saying I hate it, but it's just not what I wanted. I brought in two photos, one of Tina Fey and one of some other chick. My hair looks nothing like either of them! Oh well. Live and learn, and get a new stylist. Maybe I'm just pissed because this is the first time I have had to professionally get my hair dyed to cover up gray. Freaking oldie-locks.
Today is the start of my 4 day weekend, woot woot! My company is pretty awesome and they give you your birthday off as a floating holiday. That coupled with President's Day on Monday and I have a looong weekend. I am especially excited because my two brothers and my brother's family are coming down from NY this weekend. The three of us have birthdays this month too. Today is Dave's birthday. SWEEEEET!

Have I mentioned how much I freaking love Becky? Let me tell you! Well, my husband doesn't have the best memory in the world. He tried to plan a birthday celebration for me on the same night he has to play a show. It's ok, what he lacks in planning, he makes up for with his good looks, sparkling personality and doing the dishes :) Becky saw this and reworked the plans and invited a bunch of folks to The Federal in Durham for dinner tonight, and then to the Snmnmnm show at Duke Coffee House. Thanks Becky! I am so excited to get to hang with my homies! And if you are reading this, you should come too!

Today I have to go to the DMV and get a new license. Then Matt and I are going to the Credit Union to ask them what we need to do to buy a house. We are hoping to be able to buy a house when our lease is up in August. Chapel Hill is too expensive so we're looking to move somewhere in Durham. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we are going to a workshop for first-time home buyers. It's free and they tell you everything you need to know about buying a house for the first time. At the advice of my ever -knowledgeable brother-in-law, I have become a receipt nazi and now track all expenses and budget everything.

If you are reading this and also want to buy a house, here are things I have learned so far:

Know your credit report. Challenge everything on there. Only pay creditors after the challenged item fails AND you have, IN WRITING, a statement from them that after they receive payment they will remove all information from your credit report. If you pay the amount you owe without this statement, they update the info that you were delinquent, and even though it is now paid off it stays on your credit report for another 7 years - or longer! And if you have credit cards, make sure that you have more than half of your balance paid off when you try to get a loan.

Create a budget. Save all of your receipts for a month - all of them! You need to know where you are spending money before you can know where to cut back and by how much. After a month of keeping receipts, create a budget. I found an awesome budget template at www.free-financial-advice.net.

And thats what I've got so far! We are still in the beginning stages of becoming first time home buyers. I am sure we will learn more at the workshop next week.

dryer sheet for my head

2008-02-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

11:04 am - sitting at my desk with my scarf wrapped around my neck and my pea coat draped over my shoulders. Why can't the planet decide what temperature NC is supposed to be in February??? It was so nice out a few days ago, t-shirt weather. This morning I wore a t-shirt thinking it would be t-shirt weather. It's not and I'm freezing.
To top it off, my head looks like a porcupine, the vampires at the doctors office stole more of my blood (5 viles - no kidding), and I think I'm getting a headache.

I listened to Mur's and Jason's podcast last week, Geek Fu Morning Show
and they mentioned that they were thinking about doing a This Day In Alternate History DVD. I am all for it! Oh, and because I love the Mur so much, I am demanding that you go to her site and download her totally FREE and totally AWESOME audio novel Playing For Keeps. The last episode airs this Thursday. Matt and I are HUGE fans. Don't miss out, start from the beginning and you'll be hooked.

11:32 Revelation. Atomic fireballs curb coughing.
11:35 New revelation. Atomic fireballs don't entirely curb coughing, but they are atomically delicious.

11:45 Revelation. People on forums whine a lot. They can also be very stupid and lazy.

11:48 Jeremy sent me this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6hNj1uOkY
11:53 Video was disturbing. Reminded me of a student film I did, but mine was less fancy. I also realized that Jeremy is probably not working.

11:55 I'm now hot. I blame the atomic power of the fireball. Will remove my coat but not my scarf. There is no logic associated with keeping my scarf on.

12:03 I realize Jeremy is bored.

Jeremy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6hNj1uOkY
Carol: disturbing
Jeremy: yeah, it's a cry against Arbonne sales people, and technology
Carol: hahahahahahaha
it's a cray for a plot
dammit I MEAN CRY!!!!!!!
Jeremy: not everything can be as straight forward as Grey's Anatomy
Carol: hey, that's your show. don't push it on me
you're so damn pushy
push push push
pushy push pushy push
Jeremy: I like Scrubs. Don't you EVER accuse me of liking Greay's Anatomy. I was insulting the sort of gay show you must watch in order to have such a dim view of indie 3D shorts about the beauty myth and our reach for technology!
Jeremy: It used to be my job at XXXX to read all the forums, everywhere.
Carol: oh dear god
Jeremy: yeah, and Linux users SUUUCK
Jeremy: they're to cranky what Shiite is to Muslim
Carol: no, i "oh dear god"ed the fact that you like scrubs
Jeremy: Don't.
Carol: i did!
Jeremy: I will kill you.
Carol: really??
could you do it soon, please
Jeremy: I like the music. You'd like it, it's full of corny and slapstick humor, and hardly anyone dies, and when they do, they often get a big send off, like this one chick had a whole musical number.
No. I will do it when you least expect it. Like on your death bed.
Carol: i remember that episode
Jeremy: I'll put a banana in your trache hole.
Carol: btw, thats the lamest time to kill someone
Jeremy: You'll SPLODE!
Carol: i'll shower you with banana sucka
Carol: no, but I take it you have a lot of experience in this area
Jeremy: I would actually just go four days without bruching my teeth, and then blow into the trach hole.
Carol: wow, i feel sick
Jeremy: CO2 and halitosis poisoning. Then I'd plug it with a rubber drain stopper. NO... with a tea kettle whistle, so I can hear it
Carol: wow, have you been planning this for a while?
Carol: i kinda feel special
Jeremy: Forum duty still sucks worse.
Dude... I spend allll day thinking about killing you.
Carol: hey, did you poison those fireballs? i don't feel so good. it has nothing to do with your daily threats on my life
Jeremy: I, Pirate. U, Ninja. It is our destiny.
Carol: saaaay what? no way
Jeremy: for realz? nope, those are legit. remember, I won;t make a play on your life until you're like 80
Carol: ninjas kill first.
Jeremy: bring it.
Carol: when I'm 80, you'll be too old to kill me
Jeremy: I have thwarted like 12 of your sneak attacks.
Jeremy: noisy bell bottoms and giggling always give you away
Carol: youre are 20 years older than me, sucka
Jeremy: I will be awakened from my criogenic slumber
Jeremy: 20? yeowch.
Jeremy: In that case, you're of normal height.
Carol: yeah, totally. i'm only 15
OW! that hurt
you know what? I like letting my feet dangle from the chair without hitting the floor.
don't be jealous
hey smellery, can i put this conversation in my blog?
LUNCH!!!!!!!!!!! see ya!

Jeremy never responded to tell me it *wasn't* ok to post this conversation. You snooze you lose, buddy.

At lunch, Katy was nice enough to give me one of her super-fancy-delicious yogurts with honey. It was super AWESOME.
I then ventured into the mens room to do my bidness. Was momentarily frightened by the spritz of air freshener. I think the name of this blog should be switched to The Misadventures Of Waffle Housel, or Awkward Turtle Moments.

My belly still hurts.

I think this blog is probably long enough. Amy's blog has a purpose. Who would do such a thing? That girl's crazy. Amy and I are friends IRL. Now Katy knows what that means. Sometimes, I think to myself that maybe Katy isn't nearly as geeky as the rest of the geek school kids. It's a little sad :( There is so much potential.
Anne-Marie, another IRL friend is full with knowledge on topics I never thought about. Do you know what an awkward turtle is? Do you know what the monetary value of a human life is? Go ask Anne-Marie.

I should really do some work, I guess.

sick day.

2008-02-11T19:20:00.000-05:00

today is a sick day. it's also my first day on my new blog.
i'm turning 30 sunday, and just yesterday i spotted a billion gray hairs in one section on my head. i had a mini freak out. i've been going gray since i was 24, but i have never been 30 years old with gray hair. wtf?
not sure what else to write, so i'll make a list of things i want to do my in thirtieth year on this planet:

find someone to work with me to finish mwm documentary
submit mwm to full frame and sundance and other festivals
start online classes at ecu for my bs of communications
be a better, healthier, more granola vegetarian
buy a house
improve my credit
attend yoga classes at the gym
get a combination lock for my locker
be a better friend
stick to my budget
organize stuff
learn to cook stuff
have fun!