Change (and one example of why I sometimes hate it).

Sometimes I have a hard time with change. The most difficult types of change for me include (but are not limited to) lifestyle, loss, and surroundings. Saturday, Matt and I will be moving into a new apartment. This week has been difficult and stressful because my surroundings are chaotic, which means it's almost impossible for me to maintain my healthy lifestyle changes (eating well and exercising), and while I hate that my current apartment is geographically far removed from EVERYTHING, at least things work and are clean - beneath the boxes and chaos, anyway. I am scared to be leaving the apartment that I know, especially after actually finally seeing the apartment that I will be living in.

When Matt and I decided to take over a lease we found on Craigslist, we were ecstatic. The poster said that she was going through a divorce and needed to break her lease. It sounded like a great deal: It was closer to work for me (approx the same distance to work for Matt), it had a pool, a gym, a dishwasher, washer/dryer, and rent included extended cable (all things that we love about our current apartment), and it was a three bedroom for $720! A great way for Matt and I to continue to save money for our first home. The Craigslist poster was in a hurry to get us to agree to take over her lease, as she needed to give 30 days notice to the leasing office that she would be leaving. Of course with the short notice and conflicting work schedules between Matt, the Craigslist poster and myself, we were never able to actually SEE her apartment. We were very wary about signing a lease for an apartment that we hadn't seen, so Anna (the Craigslist poster) sent us digital images via her blackberry. Even though these pictures were exceptionally pixelated, I noticed that *every room* had a different color of paint on the walls. Anna assured me that these would be painted back before we moved in - I have that in writing. We were still a bit concerned about signing a lease for an apartment that we couldn't see in person so the leasing office showed us a 2 bedroom model, in order to give us an idea of the type of apartments they have. The apartment was great, and we were excited to move!

Yesterday, Matt and I met at the leasing office after work to transfer the lease into our name. After we signed the official lease, the leasing agent informed us that Anna was only able to paint one of the bedrooms. I groaned. Think The Yellow Wallpaper by Gilman. The living room walls are yellow (YELLOW) and our sectional is purple. Barf.

We got our keys and went up to check out our apartment. First, I was assaulted by the worst odor I have ever smelled in my life. Anna left a jar of some god-forsaken oil with sticks hanging out of it. I couldn't even recognize the smell, only that it was seriously turning my stomach and making me gag. I picked it up and took it outside immediately. In the process of removal I must have accidentally touched some of the oil, because 15 hours later and NUMEROUS washings I STILL cannot get the smell off of my hand! Then I realized that not only was the living room a BRIGHT uneven YELLOW, but the master bedroom was a disgusting green, the computer room was now an uneven purple (instead of the original pink - she doesn't know how to use primer), the kitchen had two stupid racks screwed into the walls which left holes when we removed them, the kitchen and dining room are yellow, and the guestroom is a color I don't even recognize. And, for some reason which I will never understand, she PAINTED THE LENOLIUM COUNTER TOPS IN THE KITCHEN. Who does that???? Seriously? You don't paint lenolium with LATEX PAINT. And, for the love of god - who paints an apartment????

Ok, so the place needs to be painted and it smells. Fine. But, upon further inspection I am growing more and more angry. The fridge door is missing the handle needed to open it, the counter tops that aren't painted are dirty and stained, the cabinets were painted a while ago and are dirty and chipping, there is an obvious replacement square of carpet right as you enter (not to mention various spots and stains throughout), the closet door in the hallway is broken and leaning against the shelves, I can't get the screen door on the patio to close, the bathroom cabinets are REALLY OLD, the master bedroom top of the drain stop is missing, the guest bedroom has a GIGANTIC wood fan, which I imagine Anna installed herself, because it doesn't match any of the other fans in the apartment and is better suited for a large Ski resort, the closet door in the computer room refuses be set back in it's track, and the stove looks like it is from 1970 and is dirty and missing knobs, AND THE ENTIRE PLACE IS DIRTY. ACCCCCK! Needless to say, I am VERY UNHAPPY.

Matt and I went back to the leasing office and explained that the place needed to be painted, and since we are moving in on Saturday, we would like it to be done ASAP. The agent said that Anna would pay for that, and that she would see if she could get the painters in on Friday (Today). On the way to get some dinner, the leasing agent called and said the painters would definitely come Friday (YAY!). I picked up a sage smudge stick at Whole Foods for $10, hoping that this would clear out all the negative divorce and stupidity vibes. Matt and I traveled back to the new apartment, burnt the sage and left a note asking the painters to fill the holes in the wall and paint ALL the walls in the apartment. We also left them a coupon for a free pizza and some beer and water in the fridge. Hopefully our bribes will work. I'll find out after work.

Currently I am assembling a laundry list of things for the maintenance crew to fix and another laundry list of cleaning supplies that must be picked up to make that apartment inhabitable. I'm trying with all my might to not put my left hand too close to my nose (that horrible smell won't go away!) but it's growing eceedingly more difficult not to drop my head in my hands with each new addition to my maintenance/cleaning supply lists.

Oh, I hate change sometimes.