Go fuck yourself, 2010

I've about had it with 2010. this is my second cold of the year and I've already lost an organ. what's next 2010? seriously? what is next. this is not cool and your stupid little games are getting old. you need to grow up and stop acting like a child. I'm not sure why you think its ok to treat me like this. I had nothing but high hopes for you, but now you've gone and blew it. You re going to have to prove yourself to me now. Show me that you aren't the ass I think you are. You're going to have to convince me that I shouldn't just punch you in the dick, 2010 because at this point I have had just about enough of your shenanigans. And you haven't just been an asshole to me, and that makes me really angry. What up with all that rumble bumble earth quake bullshit you been pulling? You don't think I've seen that? Have you heard of the internet, fucker? Yeah, shit gets around. And what the fuck is up with all that health care reform bullshit??? I blame you, 2010. Just fucking pass it already! You are a fucking slacker! Your are acting like such a douche and I can tell you this much, if this crap keeps up, I'm going to ignore you. It will be like you never existed. I'm going to date EVERYTHING 2011. That's right - I said it. You want to act like a turd, I'm just going to pass right over you, and I'm going to urge everyone else to do the same. You know what else? I'm going create a 2011 calendar and put it on my desk. Yup, it's a big FUCK YOU, isn't it? I bet you didn't even think of that, did? I can be a really fucked up bitch, 2010, so don't forget it. You're on notice, asshole.

It's soap time, bitches!

I made some soap. Well, I made a lot of soap. This batch is Grapefruit, Raspberry & Melon glycerin with chunks of olive oil glycerin. It's to remind myself that Spring is coming. Some day.

If you want some, hit me up!

Brilliant commercial.

You ever see that Pristiq Commercial? Man, that song is awesome. I'm sorry creepy wind-up doll, I can't pay attention to what you're talking about cause that piano music is ballin'!

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the commercial:



I know the sound on this video is really low, but I love it because of the awesome notes added to the video.

I miss you. But it's better this way.

Dear Appendix,

Hi. It's me. I'm just wondering how you are. It's been almost two weeks since you left. Ok, I know. You didn't leave of your own accord, but you should have known that you can't just act like a total douche and expect that our relationship is going to stay the same. It hasn't been easy for me either, I'll have you know. Your dick-headed behavior has really set me back some. I missed a whole week of work, only left the house once since I came home from the hospital, and who knows how much your bullshit attitude is going to cost me financially. Not to mention the physical pain and nausea and cramps!

Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I actually really miss you. It's kind of sad. I took you for granted for 32 years. I unintentionally ignored you for so long, heck - sometimes I wasn't even sure you were actually there. I can't blame you for the way things ended. I was selfish and never thought about you - never thought about how my actions affected you. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was the douche. If roles were reversed, Appendix, I would have thrown a fit, too. What I'm trying to say is... I understand why you did what you did. Apparently, this happens to a lot of people and there appendices.

I don't know where you are right now, Appendix, but I hope you're in a better place. I hope the rage you had when I last saw you has subsided and that you are on the beach in Costa Rica or somewhere equally beachy and beautiful. I hope you're drinking a margarita, thinking about me and the good times we've shared. Maybe now you can finally move to Hollywood and get that big break you've been hoping for as model on The Price Is Right. I was just holding you back - I see that now. Oh god, I miss you so much it hurts. Literally.

You'll always be a part of me, Appendix. Don't forget me. I will never forget you.

-C.

ps. Large intestine says 'hi'. Small asks if he can move into your room. I told him it was too soon. Now that's a real douche!