I miss you. But it's better this way.

Dear Appendix,

Hi. It's me. I'm just wondering how you are. It's been almost two weeks since you left. Ok, I know. You didn't leave of your own accord, but you should have known that you can't just act like a total douche and expect that our relationship is going to stay the same. It hasn't been easy for me either, I'll have you know. Your dick-headed behavior has really set me back some. I missed a whole week of work, only left the house once since I came home from the hospital, and who knows how much your bullshit attitude is going to cost me financially. Not to mention the physical pain and nausea and cramps!

Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I actually really miss you. It's kind of sad. I took you for granted for 32 years. I unintentionally ignored you for so long, heck - sometimes I wasn't even sure you were actually there. I can't blame you for the way things ended. I was selfish and never thought about you - never thought about how my actions affected you. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was the douche. If roles were reversed, Appendix, I would have thrown a fit, too. What I'm trying to say is... I understand why you did what you did. Apparently, this happens to a lot of people and there appendices.

I don't know where you are right now, Appendix, but I hope you're in a better place. I hope the rage you had when I last saw you has subsided and that you are on the beach in Costa Rica or somewhere equally beachy and beautiful. I hope you're drinking a margarita, thinking about me and the good times we've shared. Maybe now you can finally move to Hollywood and get that big break you've been hoping for as model on The Price Is Right. I was just holding you back - I see that now. Oh god, I miss you so much it hurts. Literally.

You'll always be a part of me, Appendix. Don't forget me. I will never forget you.

-C.

ps. Large intestine says 'hi'. Small asks if he can move into your room. I told him it was too soon. Now that's a real douche!